Posts Tagged ‘butter’

Yesterday Al and I took his brother Tom to the grocery store so that Tom could do his weekly grocery shopping. As Tom pushed his cart throughout the store, Al and I followed, waiting patiently as Tom stopped here and there to examine carefully the various items that he likes to purchase before placing them in his cart. When he picked up a carton of four sticks of butter Butter without much of a pause, I was impressed that he knew precisely what he was looking for.

So it was somewhat bewildering a short while later when Tom stopped to examine the round tubs of margarine and other butter substitutes, eventually selecting a container of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter™.I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! I thought to myself, he’s already gotten some actual butter; what’s the point of getting fake butter, too? Doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose? Don’t they cancel out each other in the same way that, say, when the numbers 4 and -4 are added together, the result is 0?

And that led me to ponder further: If you toast a slice of bread, spread a little butter on the toast, and then spread some I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter™ on the same piece of toast, are you in actuality about to eat a slice of dry toast?

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